iced lemon tea

In Christ alone will I glory

Though I could pride myself in battles won

For I’ve been blessed beyond measure

And by His strength alone I’ll overcome

Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands

But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

In Christ alone do I glory

For only by His grace I am redeemed

For only His tender mercy

Could reach beyond my weakness to my need

And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more

And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord.

In Christ alone, I place my trust

And find my glory in the power of the cross

In every victory, let it be said of me

My source of strength, my source of hope

Is Christ alone.

It’s been more than ten years and am still enjoying the lyrics of this song. Every time i ponder on the things that happened in my life, i can confess nothing but God’s grace. God’s grace, that is greater than all my sins. Grace. Grace. Grace so really rich and free.

I’ve fought a lot of battle. And in a lot of times am tempted to display the victories as mine. And in the same number of times am reminded that it was not my strength after all. For in the midst of the battle, i take my refuge in prayer.

I could measure myself with the great things this world could offer. I could place myself at the throne of the honored. I could stand on top of the world and shout the sufferings i’ve been through and the sacrifices i have made. Yet in the greater things that God had accomplished in my life, those worldly trophies are nothing, literally nothing.

He did all for my redemption, when am lost and disoriented.

When am dead and death is still required of me, he died for my stead.

Yeah, just like Paul, i can boast on nothing save the cross.

I was enabled by Christ alone, in Christ alone and through Christ alone.

May i will never forget Calvary, until i’ve counted all my gains as loses, and my strength as weakness, to the glory of my Lord.

Nagising akong makulimlim ang paligid.. sabagay ganito naman lagi sa sulok na ito ng islang tinirhan ko, maulan. Kadalasan, sa kwarto lng ako. buong araw.. hanggang madatnan ng gabi, hanggang madatnan ng umaga ulit. Pero kadalasan, sa gitna ng gabi nasa kalye ako.. nagpapadyak-padyak sa 2 months old bicycle ko.. Weird? kasi sa gabi alang tao, wala akong masasagasaan if ever… at siyempre, walang makakakita pag tumumbling man ako hehehe…. sa araw naman, i usually use my bike going to MRT station or Bus station instead of using the bus, kasi nga, sayang din naman yung P20 pesos per trip… pag maipon yun, aba’y may kalakihan din yun… so yun yung routine ko… eto pa pala isa, pag pumunta ng swimming pool.. pag pakiramdam ko kinakalawang na mga buto-buto ko, i go to the pool.

So yesterday after lunch, katatapos lng din ng ulan, i prepared my gear. nakapack na yung goggle, pambanlaw and secret hehehe… (pang-asar lng po)

Eto na, diretso na tayo sa pag dive ko sa daan. For what reason na pumagilid ako at sumemplang sa butas ng drainage sa gilid ng daan(Read: indi marunong mag bike). Hehehe… syempre sabay tayo, bawi ng porma… nakasunod kasi sa akin ay ale na nakapayong na naka bike, o di ba diyahe? hehehe i was bruised on my hand at anssaakiitt ng kamay ko huhuhu… gusto ko nga umiyak right there and then e.. try lng kung kakayanin… pero tiningnan ko muna yung ale kung tatawa sa stunts ko.. syempre, dalawa lng kami, so nahiya siguro hehehe.. di siya tumawa.. tuloy-tuloy lng siya.. ewan ko kung tumawa siya pagdating sa dulo… ako, ayun tulak ang bike pauwi waahhuhuhuhu.. sakit pa rin…

Syempre ayun nasabon ng nanay at ng misis heheehe… pero sakit pa rin….

But in some ways, am happy.. i feel like a child again, bruised from play at sumbong sa nanay, of course i don’t know no matter how i tried, alang luha na lumabas…hehehe sayang… important element pa naman ang iyak, di ba? Masarap masaktan, natututo kang mag-alala ng mga tao, ng nakaraan, ng pagkatao mo. You will realize that
pain respects no person. And all people are equal when it comes to pain. I wash my hand with soap and water and later with rubbing alcohol, things i will never do nung bata ako. But this time, i have to validate my claim that i conquered my fear and so i did the same.

Night came, sked ko sa work. I have to go. Zero OT kami ngayon, sa dami ng liabilities ko, kailangan mag tiis… Ang hirap, both hands kasi ang affected. Ansakit. So you can imagine pano ako nag suot ng bunny suit ko, at paano ako bumukas ng pinto. I feel so helpless yet have enough strength para magawa yung mga bagay na yun, in the midst of pain. Mahirap, kasi mag isa lng ako. I can hardly read and reply an sms. pati sa drinking fountain, i have to push it with both hands at di kaya ng isa lng.

Masarap. I pray and pray for the Lord to heal my hands. Masarap maglambing sa Panginoon. Masarap masaktan at tumawag sa Panginoon. Weird? probably. But there are relationships that can’t be appreciated by anyone except by the persons involved.

At 7:30am today, the 14^th
of September 2006, our little prince rested in the loving arms of the Father.
Baby Kent was born with Down syndrome with some internal organs
complication. He was born August 11^th
of this year to my younger sister. He was loved and well-taken care of, to the
point that his 2-year old brother always complaining of being neglected because
of him. But on about the same time
today, BJ woke-up from his sleep and shouted, “Manghod ko diin? (Where’s my
younger brother?}”, then got back to
sleep for another hour, probably feeling the lose at his very young age.

Yet in all of these things, I am
grateful to God the way my sister viewed the situation. She willingly submitted
to the will of the Father. In the midst of pain, I can sense peace within her.
She’s still grateful to God for allowing her to spend time with her son, even
if it was just for a month. She feels satisfied of the love and care she
extended to Kent. She’s still happy that God has been gracious to make her
enjoy the company of his baby even for a while. During the painful hours before
my nephew gave up his breath, she and her husband was on the bedside praying
for God’s will for them. She’s not praying what she wants, but for God’s
perfect plan to be executed right there and then.

I can’t see what’s good in this
situation except that what my sis has observed – to remain grateful of the time
she was able to express her motherly love to his son. I’m glad too, that I was
able to hold that wonderful gift, even for a while. I’m happy that I was able
to kiss him and feel him near me before he was taken back.

I know that in God’s wisdom, this
remain a good thing for us. Nothing could be better. We might not understand right now, but we trust Him to bring us
through with this.

To baby Kent: I know we’ll be
seeing each other anyway when we reach there. We do love you.