iced lemon tea

October 14, am at home, sitting in front of my laptop, with fingers aching to strike the keys and mind that is empty to command a word.

My mind keep on running round the corner of my thought, flashing are the memories of old friends, places and things that touched my life in one way or another… people i learned from and peope who hopefully learned from me.

Also comes are the thoughts of things that i thought, matters to me but seems aren’t(?).

…life… death, how sure is it and how fast is coming over to people  i love and probably to me.

enjoying life… regretting to live. the irony of living is that, while you enjoy life, your frustrations boils it down to a halt - making it senseless and worthless.

i missed my music in cassette tapes, i have 2-3boxes of cassette tapes at home of which i don’t know if still in good condition or… flowered with fungus already those serves as my vitamins since college days until before i leave manila. it sustained me, accompanied me, painted my life in loneliness. It’s with those music that i came to enjoy life in my solitary refuge.

i missed the things i called mine, Desktop, guitar, keyboard, cd-radio, books - all gone, separated from me. got new toys though but nothing compares with the memories i spent with them.

i missed the old, dull hill i used to spend my time with. the old hill that heared all my sentiments and expression of joy and amazement. It’s tranquility is something unique to itself and is so hard to find this days.

i missed traveling on rocky roads, evading muds crossing rivers by jumping through the big rocks, the scent of greenfields under the sun, the music of silence at the country side, the view of fireflies - creating a natural christmas tree during the cold season of december.

i missed the time when all you have to be concerned with through the week is rice, fish, vegetables on weekdays and chicken or pork on sundays. when you only have to gather drywoods in the backyard for your mom to cook lunch and dinner. when those veges are just a pick away and chicken is something you’ll run after around your place.

i missed playing with kids at my age using only a stick or a piece of stone. When we have throw at each other mud and roll ourselves in the itchy grass, when we have to hunt wild fruits and spiders in the wee hour of the night.

i missed the time when the moon is still bright and stars covers the night. when the morning rays of the sun is so beautiful and warm. When you have to be quick in checking out the dew at early morn as it will not stay that long.

i don’t know what is growing fast in here.. was it me? or the time?

Life then, is so simple, carefree, worth enjoying and worth celebrating.