iced lemon tea

Some say there’s nothing permanent in this world, except change.

Others insist that everything has an end. Life itself has death. And while FOREVER and ETERNAL are promising words, yet in one way or another, you can not keep it all. There’s still changes. New things. New forms. New image.

During my grade school years, it pains me to leave my friends. If only we  have a secondary school, i won’t leave my school. But we don’t have. Our parents brought us to different secondary schools, without asking us wether we like it or not. For months after graduation, and even 2 years after we said our goodbyes, i still take time to meet with them. Spend time exchanging nonsense stories till the sun sets, and find ourselves doing it all again the following day, then the following week, then it’s just the 2nd saturday of every month.. then next summer.. and gone. It did not last long. Time is so hostile to us. Homeworks and scheds never agrees to our heart’s desire anymore. My high school days was greatly damaged by it.  I never enjoyed it like others did. My heart still goes to my grade school friends.  I miss the times when we plan to make surprises for our teachers. When we have to make a beautiful christmas tree from our own allowances, with out the teacher knowing. When we have to agree bringing fruits, milk, chocolates and other sweets to make a salad out of it. I’m the youngest then, but i lead the class. When the teacher couldn’t put the class into silence, she would ask me to.

I make friends with only few people, and that makes them priceless to me. 

At College, i was engaged to a hundred of schoolmates in a Bible Study group i’ve joined with. We’re only 3-5 who actively lead that group. Comes graduation, we managed to keep close to around 10 aspiring leaders. We build more than a group. We’ve built relationship. We’ve  built respect, trust and confidence toward each other.  The last night we’ve shared with at least 50 of them was quite emotional. Girls are crying. Some are asking, "Can’t we just be students forever?" Then unguarded, you found yourself lost in their midst. You are unprepared for that moment.

One of them sang the song "PRAY for ME" It’s the first time i’ve heared it. But even it is 7 years after, i can still see her expression… sad and true.

Friendship do come at the crossroads. We took the road God chooses for us, but a different one he chooses for our friends.  Sometimes we mistakenly assume that it is the the end then, but it is not. It’s just a new phase. Even a babe have to leave his mother’s womb, and even later, leave the family to build his own.  Neither it diminish the friendship you have established so far. it only means there’s no more room for both of you to grow. Possibly one is more mature with the other, or both of you grew simultaneously.. whichever the case, you’ll have to continue walking. Be glad that you’ve experienced the gift of friendship. Be thankful that you were able to spend time with them. Be grateful that you’ve met them. Lastly, cherish their memories… it lasts.

Pray For Me
M.W. Smith

Here is where the road divides
Here is where we realize
The sculpting of the Father’s great design
Through time you’ve been a friend to me
But time is now the enemy
I wish we didn’t have to say goodbye
But I know the road He chose for me
Is not the road He chose for you
So as we chase the dreams we’re after

I know love will bring us back around again

listen the midi file here

While watching "M.W. Smith’s Concert- A 20 Year Celebration", at the comfort of my room - alone and in the dark(pinatay ko kasi ang ilaw hehehe) - I’ve seen a lot of faces and expressions. From the performer himself, Amy Grant, back-up singers and the audience, you can not help asking yourself how true they were on what they show. Are they engulf by momentary emotion, or they are showing exactly the true reality of the christian community.

Last night, in an international christian chat room, I’ve seen a lot of so called Christians showing enthusiastically their love for the Lord. They sang and testify the goodness of the Lord. Everyone wants to be heared (or read in this case), everyone seems so happy and is so proud that they really enjoy the fellowship of Jesus. Everybody seems shouting "I LOVE JESUS and AM PROUD OF IT!"

Moments later, i posted about an existing church in the Philippines struggling to have a place to gather themselves. Just a place to start with their journey to be missionaries. I asked the group if anyone or any group who wants to share with the burden. And as expected, no one paid attention. Reposting the same message, scroll of messages in the window goes slowly until the fiercest "believers" weren’t posting anymore. Everyone seems waiting for someone to break the silence, thinking how to restore the jolly conversation.

I am not exempted of the same Christian syndrome. The hardest part of being a christian is the moment you’ll start taking up your cross and follow Jesus. A brother in Christ sent an e-mail if am willing to start something in where i am right now. But until now am afraid to commit myself. It’s been in my prayers that God would grant me a heart that will always say YES. But the more i thirst for that passion in Christ, the more i see my laziness in the work and the hypocrisy of being zealous enough to encourage but never to partake in a full blast. We still seek self-comfort, forgetting that is not about us anymore. We are afraid to let go our own glory, unaware that by doing so, we’re denying God His’.

Near the end of the concert, Amy Grant sang "Thy Word" - the lyrics taken from Psalms 119 - and it came to me with great power. I heared it telling me of my weakness. That the moment we’re lost, we can trust nothing and no one in this world but God’s Word. That when a christian is at lost with the things that happens to him, he can only trust God and His Word. Christians, though saved by God’s grace is empowered only by God’s mercy. That a christian have really nothing to boast about himself. That if he will only search himself in the light of God - and be honest about it, he will only end up on his knees acknowledging that the God who reigns over him is truly AWESOME and MAGNIFICENT!

And since it is not about us anymore but about Him, our lives has no other purpose but to give him glory. We have to combat ourselves whenever it seeks its own comfort and glory, whenever it starts to defend itself and not the gospel. We are to remind each other that worshipping God isn’t done only in silence and in comfort, but that it is a lifestyle. As it reaches heaven, it must touch and be felt also by the people around us. Let us continue in preaching the Word, and if necessary, use words.