iced lemon tea

Often times we define the love and care of moms through the eyes of other people or at least from their kids themselves.

A while ago, I was hooked with this drama episode on TV on how an adopted son exhibited the importance of a mother - when all his siblings pursued academic degrees and left for greener pastures, he stayed and take good care of their parents.

This continued even the adopted son succumb into brain cancer and eventually died without failing to show care towards the light of the family, to the last breath.

It is rare for me to drop tears on movies knowing that it’s not real… and that they are just acting on screen.  However, the scenes teach me a lot the importance of appreciating mothers.  

The mom on the story was busy with work and has less time with kids.  At one point, the elder brother accused this same mom of missing his childhood days.

But the adopted son, never ever looked on his mom’s shortcomings. It was this characteristic that the mother saw the vivid picture of her relationship towards her kids.

She’s afraid to grow old alone, and at one time she considered the kids as her life insurance - someone to look after her when she grow old.

From the very point of view of this mother, flowed the affection she have for this adopted son.  You can feel her loss. It wasn’t long enough when I’ve blurred my vision with tears.  I can feel her pain.

Her questions were the following:

Isn’t the children are suppose to bury their parents?

If you call a child who lost his parents an orphan; and the wife who lost his husband a widow; what would you call a mother who lost a son?

Indeed, they are the most uncomforted victim of death. There is just no way to describe their loss.

I’ve seen this situation when my sister lost his son a month after she gave birth to him. Four years after, and she’s still hurt and afraid.

The love of a mother never wanes, even in death. They are an example of an ultimate love, knowable and visible to man.

“Can a woman forget her nursing child And have no compassion on the son of her womb? ” Isaiah 49:15

What a solemn reminder when at times we take for granted our mother’s care for us.  This could possibly explain why thirty years after and away for fifteen years, my mother still celebrates my birthday at home. 

Now I know, I will always be her baby boy no matter how I feel about it.

There’s is the kind of love a level less than divine.

May 14

BREAKFAST

I woke up with a nice fried noodles that my mom-in-law prepared that morning.   One thing I admire about her is that she put her soul on every thing she does in the kitchen.  You can be sure she knew the minute detail of all ingredients she includes - not missing the importance of serving its purpose from preparation until its consumption. She just know what to do. ^^

I asked permission to stroll around Manila that morning. I know I have to update myself and get familiar of the surrounding markers again.

After the breakfast chat with Papa, I quickly prepare myself for a quick tour around the metropolis.

CITY TOUR

Everything thing was so funny. I feel like i knew all the people around me.  I lost count the number of times I take a good focus on one person for a few second to make sure that they are not the people I knew.

Was it because I’m surrounded by Filipinos again?

As much as I would like to hide my oblivion to the “new” surrounding, I feel stupid asking my seatmate how much is the minimum fare at the jeepney(local common transport).  The girl in uniform looked at me and probably tried to measure up my sincerity, informed me of the fare.

In between seconds and awe, I tend to forget switching on my street smart consciousness.  Luckily, I haven’t experienced something unusual and nasty hehehe.

While Singapore is only as big as Metro Manila, the population in Manila is more than double. There’s just a lot of people everywhere.  The security check five years ago, is still the same routine I have to endure at the entrance of MRT and Malls.

At the purple line, there are gates thar are closed, and elevators are either off or not working. There’s a lot of ways that the management/government could make it easier and convenient to the riding public, but they tend to feel more convenient by making it hard to the riding public.

The MRT stations were designed for convenience, yet some entrance are closed or some lines and off limits section were placed inconveniently. I literally have to make a round to enter when there are supposed to be available gates on either side of the station.

While on queue to buy my train ticket, an old man approached me for help. He told me its his first time to use the machine and he will appreciate if I could help him. I told him it’s my first time too, and everybody who heard showed me that blank stare again. I can sense like they’re asking me, “From which tribe you came and when did you arrive here?”

Anyways, I don’t have pics, but I took the purple line to Cubao and take the train again to Mega mall. After a quick lunch at Shangrila Mall, I bought a sandal in anticipation for my planned beach hopping on the next two weeks.

I hurriedly went back to Sampaloc for my trip to Binan that afternoon.

It’s a week past Mother’s Day and so I bought a nice cake for my mom-in-law. Better late than never hehehe…

I wasn’t able to catch them at home, and so i decided to pack my things for Binan.

BINAN TRIP

The Binan trip wasn’t that smooth. I have to look for the right bus under the scorching heat of the sun. I arrived late for my sched of 5pm, but was able to catch up the young people at the church for dinner.

I spend the next 5hours with six pastors  on the church lawn discussing various, interesting topic.

EPILOGUE

The whole day was tiresome but filled with good activity — a good jump start for the next strenuous days of mountain hiking, beach hopping and road trip sun bathing.

Another unique travel experience awaits me.  This time, I’ll have a quick cruise from Manila to Negros via RORO.

May 13

Leaving Changi airport with Pastor Andy at 10am, it was a surprise to see a good friend on the same flight.  Xerxes was one of the few brothers I never had. He is my adviser, brother and father hehehe.  His ministry and life is a constant reminder to me that a christian could still be faithful to God and His Word. We shared good updates on our lives and spend the rest of the flight reading our own books.

While waiting for our luggage, we made our first click-click. ^^  Xerxes will be waiting for his connecting flight to Bacolod, Pastor Andy will visit his sons in Laguna and I’ll be paying a visit to my in-laws in Sampaloc.

Pastor Andy decided to have his glasses fixed at Carriedo and so we decided to travel together. It was quite hot and the traffic moves so slow.  After 3 hours at 5pm, we’re still trapped along Taft Ave. I have a sched dinner that night with my college friends.  I don’t have much time and I can’t bear it anymore to get stuck that long.

Stressed with the traffic, we decided to have our late lunch at Wendy’s.  I don’t want to sound like the usual balikbayans who always complain here and there, but I can’t really hold back to make some comments.  Wendy’s chicken doesn’t taste nice.  I feel like it wasn’t fresh and too salty for my taste. *sorry hehehe*

Anyway, as am going to be late for my 7pm dinner with friends, I decided to  heed for Alabang as my friends will be coming from Laguna and Alabang just to meet me.  I’m glad that we can still find time to meet and to have fellowship  even in the midst of our tight schedules.

After 13 years they remained true and good friends.  They are the brothers I never   had. I was their wedding’s best man (except for Luis who’s not married yet).  They are the friends who I can write volume of books,  and have a good share of my life’s growth and being.

Far from being teenager, we can’t help but reminisce our college days and our ministries back then.

Rhal was our Bible study group chairman and mobilizer. He spend the first few minutes inviting students and gathering members for our 3x per week after class fellowship.  A good leader who plays a key role  when am still on the process of conquering my own lack of self confidence. In a lot of ways, he helped me conquer my weakness. His friendship honed my leadership skills (kung meron man :P).

Next was Glenn, the soul winner of the team.  He usually spend personal moments with the visitors sharing the good news of salvation in Christ.  While we enjoy the fellowship on one room, he is on  the other room introducing Christ and leading one soul at a time to the feet of Jesus. I’ve been with him in his weakest as well as on his grand moments in life.  I was his friend, brother and father hehehe…

Next was Luis, the team artist/designer.  A good example on a lot of things. He is so neat on his things when we are not. He is a good economist and a businessman. He is a good discipler and a leader. Imagine sharing the gospel to the entire boarding house? During our 5am Saturday morning devotional when the gates are still closed, his team of board mates excitedly climb off the wall to join us.

We spend our dinner over those happy moments. If there’s one thing that binds us all through this years, it was the blood of Jesus… and our never ending fellowship at the throne of grace though we are apart this far.

I arrived at Sampaloc around midnight.  I shouldn’t have wakened up my in-laws that late, nevertheless, they have been too gracious and accommodating in having a quick chit-chat with me before retiring to sleep.  They never missed to make me feel that parental care away from home. ^^

I thank the Lord for them and for all the blessings I’ve counted that day.

Hand phone tale

My first technological inclination was with mobile phones. I’m pretty sure I was the first GSM user at the previous company I worked with.  My first Globe mobile was an Ericsson GA628(P5,500), a single-liner phone… sleek… with cute protruding antenna niyahahaha… believe me, it existed!

My second phone was a Nokia 5110(P9,000). Superb font rendering.

Followed by Nokia 3210 (P7,000) (first phone with no external antenna) of which my first impression of the design was “lack of class, bald and bland”,

Nokia 3310(P9,000) (bar soap type phone) with backlight changed to blue… cool, I won’t be surprise if it will bubble like soap hehehe 

Nokia 6150 (P6,000) (executive type).. asteg!, 

Nokia 6210 (P7,000) -first with GPRS if am not mistaken - my first mobile web experience thru WAP!,

Nokia 3530 (P8,000) - first colored screen phone and it was like 56k colors? and of course, first polyphonic phone,

Nokia 6230 (P25,000)- first with expandable memory, mp3 player and radio WOW!, 

I stopped at N6230 for like three years.  Aside from being expensive, no new hand phone released ever hit my senses until the arrival of ASUS P525! (P32,000) wow… a handphone and a mobile PC in one.

All of which was either stolen or pick-pocketed hehehe. One thing I like with the experience though, was that I never ever witnessed as it happens… that must be horrible!

Obviously I lost my P525 again. So, I bought a $60 phone as a punishment for myself. For the next two months, I settled with Samsung C170 (S$60). No camera, no music, got FM radio though… - yet this was the thinnest phone in the market I’ve ever seen!

Then Asus P535(S$1,100) arrived with better features. A much improved P525 with built-in GPS. A powerful Windows Mobile 5 of which I hastely upgraded to Windows Mobile 6… ughhh! I guess I shouldn’t have..
Aside from microsoft installed softwares, I installed

1.  Google Maps - for sattelite mapping, making my travel fun and secure,

2.  MapKing - for detailed 3D map.

3.  SKYPE - excellent audio. Why? Because it doesn’t use the internal speaker, so you have to lower down the volume for privacy sake hehehe..

4.  Pointui Home - for iPhone feel graphic interface.

5.  RTConfig - for security and mobile control of my phone data… if ever the end of its life would come too soon… that is losing it again.
6.  TCPMP - wonderful media player. And the ever reliable…

7.  Pocket e-Sword - a Bible school on the go. Complete with commentaries, dictionaries, Bible translations, Greek and Hebrew Lexicon, and devotional ebooks.

This was my mobile journey for the last nine years.   I experienced first hand the evolution of mobile technology. 

That includes the transition from analog to digital signal transmission, the rise of sms popularity, network congestion, sms suspension due to excesssive usage (and yes, I am one of those who got a week of no-sms penalty-wehehehe), mysteriously losing mobile loads, mobile chat, web-based sms, sms based e-mails, and more. 

In a lot of ways, it ministered to me and a few others. A number of friends were blessed and encouraged by the messages sent. I’ve even found new friends while able to strengthened the current. Obviously, it has some negative results too.

However, it accompanied me well in discovering more of me and more of the people around me. It wasn’t an easy journey, but it helped shape my perception.

And oh yeah… before i forget, this is all about cellphones hehehe…

see you on my next entry. God bless everyone!

I am quite idealistic when I was young.

At my teens, I was amazed at the discipline and order in the military life. 

At 15, I decided to pursue a degree in nautical studies. When things didn’t go my way, I tried again when I was in college by trying to pass the PMA entrance exam. Blessed enough, I was selected at the top 600 of the 23,000 aspirants during that time. Quite a feat, yet i failed to join the top 270.

That was my first failed major exam. Usually, I may not be at the top but surely I’ll never be left behind - but not that time.

I’m a loser. I can’t accept defeat. And most of the time, I back-off not because I failed, but because I’m afraid to try.

But life was designed exactly that way. Failures and successes go hand in hand. We can never have every thing perfect… It’s either we’ll be disappointed or be disappointed more. 

And so I choose not to be disappointed by growing down. I remove expectations, and just do things as I ought to do and hold my OWN self responsible for it. No more, no less.

I surely received a number of accolades, but honestly I forgot the count how many. I’m fully aware that when I would start counting appreciation and criticism, am building up wastes. I was bullied when I was a kid… If I would allows myself to get affected by what the other people are thinking of me, I should be dead by now.

No one believes me then. As I’ve said, I’ve grown up a loser. Sometimes, I am tempted to think that “if they’ve only given me a chance” it could have been better.

But I struggled to get off the blame from other people. I am what I think I am.

The secret of life is contentment and the thought of “it could have been worse”.

We can pursue what we desire, but at the end of the day, only what’s on our hands are available for us to enjoy… we can choose to discard that though, and live in misery and pain of loss.

Growing down is to look down at what you’ve got, instead of what you should have. By doing so, your level of understanding grows but your expectation shrinks.

Don’t complain. Don’t whine. Don’t live in the praises of other men… they will just disappoint you. It fades. It doesn’t last long. Today, those people will speak well of you, the next day they are the same people who will throw dirt at you. If you receive praises, pass it on to God. If you receive disapproval, fine tune your attitude towards it.

Now having said that, let me said this: We can only hold ourselves responsible and only we, are accountable of our actions.  We can not take back what we’ve done and what other people would say about it. So we must be sure that whatever stuffs we do, it doesn’t worth regretting for.

Only then we can discover what true happiness is all about.

Contentment.

Got to watched The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.

This isn’t a review, though I’d be happy to share a bit of what i feel about it. The plot is not good as the first movie. It appears to me like an alternate plot to the first released movie. I appreciate the making though, quite flawless at least, to my untrained eye. ^^

So what’s with the Title? It was the words Alex told to his dad, Rick, when the later was shot to -what looks like- death…

It brought me back down to memory lane 13 years ago when I was only 3rd year high school and my father was involved in a vehicular accident. I know I’ve told that story over and over again. He might have a second life out from it, I got mine also out of the same. so bear with me for the ‘nth time.

“You get beat up, you get tossed around, but you’re always standing there in the end. I never really thought of the world with out you. “

Quite the same words I thought. I never thought life could easily end that way. I’m not prepared, never have I thought that death could be that quick.

All this years my father showed persistence, patience and hard work. I know, co’z am a recipient of it in a lot of ways.

But it was an excellent revelation of the inner me. I displayed confidence all the while much more secured. Yet, when that tragic news broke to my ears, Everything around me simply turned dim. I literally know what does it mean “not to have a future”… including the poetical phrases like, “coming of a new dawn” (hehehe… quite corny… )

Every time I remember that day and the age-stricken face of my parents, prompts me to do more… to give more… Time is getting short obviously, that’s what the hurry is all about.

It gave meaning to my life.  It’s easy to forget and  look down to someone we have no relationship with. 

But if we could only realize how possible it is to be a blessing as often as we could be, then life will never be that dull.

My father did his part so well. It wasn’t easy but it was full.

What I’ve got now are bit and pieces of examples am living my life by.

I hope i will not be that scared when the real stuff arrived, that what he have shown  will strengthen me. that me too, “…will be someone who were get beat up,  get tossed around, but were always standing in the end.”

….that someone could say of me, “I never really thought of the world with out you.”

We can only define our character by how we express it towards our relationship with others and with God.

So how can we say how polished our characters are?

As my father would always remind me, "let others tell you who you are."

We might feel good about our stuffs - that is our actions and attitudes. We think we have done well. And most often, our actions brags more than our words. We tend to believe we are better than others. We are inclined to believe that we have achieved more, that we knew more, that we are far more superior than "them".

But it’s not on "what you have accomplished so far", rather it should be on "what you should have accomplished this far".

What we are to the eyes of the people we engaged our life with, defines us. They could err on their assessment… But usually, they are right.

So when my wife say i’ve taken her off for granted, it doesn’t matter how i think i’ve treated her. It doesn’t matter when all those while i keep on thinking about her… that i keep on praying about her. Her perception of me is now on the forefront. It’s the real issue that must be deal with. There’s no use telling her that I care deeply about her, when in the first place she doesn’t feel it anyway.

I know how on my own little way, i slipped small surprises from time to time. But still, the mere fact that it wasn’t appreciated and she declares that she doesn’t feel your care, STILL, is the main issue on that specific type of relationship.

If she says am not practicing what I preach… I’m taking it as a gospel truth.

Everytime she reminds how I failed, it keeps my feet on the ground, reminding me that am nothing but a wretched soul saved only by grace.

This applies to all kind of human relationships. Let the other party tells you who you are and what you’d been to him/her. And from there draw yourself up and out. Don’t be stagnant and wait to get stink. Keep on growing.

You can not please everybody, but you have to set things right with everybody.

That measures you up.

God, on the other hand, looks into our hearts… our desires… our passion.

For where your heart is, there will your heart be also. Luke 12:34

Our external action doesn’t really matter at all before Him. It’s where it came from, and what drives it out is what matters before God.

Setting our heart right before God, is a daily struggle. It is not even routinize. You are expected to grow in maturity. You are expected to win more carnal grounds within your self and win it over to be a spiritual field where you can nurture growth and build up your spiritual riches. Recognize the working of the Lord in your life, and not your working in the Lord. It’s the Lord who will determine the corresponding reward of your ministry and not yourself.

It is humility though, to boast in the Lord and not other things. King David said, "My soul will make its boast in the Lord; The humble will hear it and rejoice" (Psalm 34:2).

The talks about miracles are getting common in our community today. Often we heard how some people receive a sum of money at the very moment they needed it most. How you found a parking space just when it is busiest moment of the day. That you received an encouraging sms or a call at the very moment you needed it most… and we tend to exclaim it is a miracle!

Modern signs and wonders that have ceased, is infiltrating the church. They are completely different in experience and purpose than New Testament miracles. Sometimes we mistakenly describe providence as miracles. While we believe everything God does is a miracle - no matter how insignificant it maybe - we should have a clear distinction between providence and biblical miracle.

Providence is how God orchestrating things and events so that it does what He wants it to do.

Miracles happens when God rose above the laws of nature and do something beyond that law.

Reading the Scriptures, biblical miracles happened relatively ONLY on the three,  brief periods of biblical history:

a.  The days of Moses and Joshua
b.  During the ministries of Elijah and Elisha
c.  Time of Christ and the Apostles

None of those periods lasted much more than a hundred years. Each of
them, each of the three, experienced a proliferation of miracles
unheard of at other times in God’s redemptive history. But even during
those three times, miracles were not just normal everyday occurrences
that happened to anybody and everybody. The miracles that did happen in
the time of Moses and Joshua–involved Moses and Joshua! The miracles
that happened in the time of Elijah and Elisha, happened around the
ministries of Elijah and Elisha. And the miracles that happened to
Christ and the Apostles and through them, happened through their
ministries.

There weren’t just miracles happening all over everywhere to all kinds
of people. And aside from those three intervals, the only other
miracles recorded in Scripture are very, very, isolated events. It is
true in the days of Isaiah, the Lord miraculously defeated
Sennacherib’s army, then healed Hezekiah and turned the Sun’s shadow
back (2Kings 19-20). It is true, in the days of Daniel, God
miraculously preserved Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, in the furnace
(Daniel 3). But those are very uncommon and very unusual. It is true
that God did miraculously preserved Jonah in the belly of a great fish.
But for the most part, those are very isolated. And miracles like those
didn’t happen to God’s people as a course of life. Now, God, of course
at anytime can inject Himself into the human stream supernaturally, and
do a miracle. But He chose to limit Himself primarily to three periods
of history, and very rarely will you ever find a miracle in the times
in between. The rest of the time God just works through providence. He
doesn’t need a miracle: He can just work through providence. The reason
that He did a miracle is because a miracle can only be attributed to
God. It can only be explained supernaturally, and there were times when
that was crucial.

All those miracles performed were not meant to stand on their own. That is, without pointing to the message.

All those miracles are always meant to validate or authenticate the message and those specifics messengers.

The Bible we lifted up in our hands are already authenticated with the miracles in it. It doesn’t need further authentication. Nothing in Scripture indicates that the miracles of the Apostle’s Age
were meant to be continuous. If you keep reading in the Book of Acts
and you will get to the part in the Book of Acts where you finally say
to yourself, "I haven’t read a miracle in a long time," and you’ll
finish the whole book and never see another one! They had begun to
cease even in the Book of Acts.

So what it is for? those practicing these miracles and wonders believes it is for edification.

But going back to the Bible, these were never meant for edification but for a sign to unbelievers. It’s in fact a sign for the unbelievers.

Providence, in many ways, is a greater miracle than a miracle. It would
be easier to do something supernatural than it is to orchestrate all of
the infinite contingencies of life and make them work God’s purpose, but the Lord do it every moment of every day.

We can only thank God that he already passed down to us an authenticated revelation through those writers, in the form of our Bible. It needs no updating so there’s no need of present verification. Its message is complete.

May the Lord will keep us true to His truth.

Happy Birthday to my brother, Glenn!

Like the sun that rises everyday,
You are so faithful, dear Lord you are faithful.
Like the rain that you bring,
And every breath that i breathe,
You are so faithful, oh Lord.

Like the rose, that comes alive every spring
You are so faithful, dear Lord you are faithful.
Like the life that you give,
To every beat of my heat,
You are so faithful, oh Lord.

I see the cross and the price You had to pay,
I see the blood that washed my sins away.

In the midst of the storm,
Through the wind and the waves,
You’ll still be faithful, oh You’ll still be faithful,
When the stars refuse to shine, and time is no more,
You’ll still be faithful,
You’ll still be faithful, oh Lord.

The Acknowledgement page from my Feasibility Study entitled:

"Advanced Failure Analysis On Intricate Wirebonded And Flipchip Packages Using Scanning SQUID Microscopy" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my beloved wife Deanna, for that glass of cold water when I was profusely sweating in finishing this paper, thank you. Baby, that really means a lot to me. I will forever be grateful that I found you.

To Bong Andres, Rik Cruz, Chong Ching Har and the entire staff of STATS Chippac and Amkor Technology Philippines FA Laboratory who taught me well and believes that I could still be a good Failure Analyst.

To Rhal, Glenn, Chris, Luis, Allan, Xerxes and all of those friends whose encouragement never wanes and whose friendship were inculcated well in my soul.

To Papang, Mamang, Amber, Eunice, Remo and Christony who sustained me in dreaming a good future and inspiring me well to acquire it.

To Yuna: achieve the things in life better than your dad. Though I won’t make it easier for you either, that’s why I’m leaving a fine trail.

To my Boss who is a Jewish Carpenter, thanks for the rescue! Thanks for being a brother and a friend. The voices of a million angels could not even express my gratitude.